Journey of My Rain

When I was born, we didn’t have a house or even a hospital. We had a bus, a huge German shepherd, and a couple of Bob Marley CDs. Of course, I don’t remember much from this time in my life, but my parents sure do. Two free spirits in love, and no ropes to tie them down. Eventually, their journey led to me. My name is Kaya Rain Waldman. Each part of my name holds meaning, and when put together, holds a life. This is the story of my name and the life that it translates. I was born in the Alpine Lodge Motel in Lake Tahoe on a cold Halloween morning. 

We were just passing through from one state to the next, we drove our van. My first footsteps were in the snow with Buju Bear right beside me. He was my protector and older brother. The elements were my teachers and, my first months were spent between the trees of the forest. The first years of your life may not have a place in your memory, but they do set the foundation. Waldman is German for Woodsman. 

During World War I, my great-great grandfather was a merchant marine. On a quest to America, he jumped ship. That is when the Waldmans started their roots in America. Our family history is spotty, but I feel the strength of our lineage within my name. I picture my great-great grandfather swimming through cold waters the night the ship was returning to Europe. I picture his great-grandfather refining his trade in the German woods. Now my brother, sister, cousins, and I are the most recent of the Waldman lineage. Our blood carries the strength of our ancestors. 

My mother’s maiden name is Lucas, short for Lucatorto. Our family name was shortened because it was too hard to pronounce in America. The Lucatortos came to America when my grandpa was just a boy. His father had recently passed away in Italy, so he came with his mother and sister for a chance at a better life. He was the man of the house. I never got to meet my grandfather, but I see his strength carried gracefully by my mom. I see his passion through her cooking and his character in the way she speaks of him.

My mom and dad separated when I was six. My dad left behind nothing but questions I still don’t have the answers to. My whole life I always went back and forth between changing my last name to Lucas. Not out of disrespect to my Waldman family, but in rebellion against my dad. I never did it though. My mom was both my mother and father, and even greater than the two combined.

Kaya is the name of one of those songs on the Bob Marley CDs they had in the van before everything fell apart. It was a happy time. I can vividly hear them singing together “got to have Kaya now, for the rain is falling.” That is where I got my name. My mom tells me it means wise child, but Bob Marley said it means marijuana. I’m okay with that because my name is the story of my life not tied to a specific meaning. It was chosen out of love, and that is important to me.

I am Rain, my sister is Snow, my brother is Reef, and my youngest sister is Moon. We are a part of nature. That is how we were raised. These are our middle names and the center of our beings at the time of our creation. When you live in a van, nature is your living room. Our explorations were endless and engraved into our stories.

My mom tells me that one day during her pregnancy, she heard a strong calling towards the ocean. It was non-negotiable. She told me I kept telling her this while I was in her womb. We moved to the Big Island when I was about a year old. Buju bear was the most opposed with a thick coat of fur. It seemed mandatory to take him for a dip in the ocean every day. Our first year in Hawaii was spent in a new van. Pinetrees became coconut trees and snowfall became rising swells.

  Soon my mom became pregnant with my sister, but she couldn’t breathe. The vog from Kilauea Volcano had my mom by the throat, we weren’t welcomed there. Still, there were no ropes, just another strong calling. Kauai is our home. My brother and two sisters came along and so did our first real house. Life began to have more structure and balanced adventure. 

As we grew comfortable with our way of life with mom, what happened next was purely unexpected. My mom had a friend named Uncle Sol, he later became family. He is an incredible waterman and now my hanai dad. Hanai means adopted family in Hawaiian. When my mom first brought us over to his house to pick some fruit, he looked into my eyes and told me “you’re gonna be a surfer. I can see it.” He was right. 

He gave me the name Ehu Kai, or Kai for short. Ehu Kai means the spray of the sea. It also is a word for the changing of your hair color to blonde, caused by the sun and the salt. Ehu Kai is also the place name of the most famous wave in the world, Pipeline. Since I was eleven years old, I have spent most days surfing or in the ocean. When I was eighteen, I surfed Pipeline. My Uncle Sol called me and asked me to look at what the beach park was called. Ehu Kai. He saw it all along. My mother, did she know that this would be my journey all the way from the snowy mountains of Tahoe? Is life predetermined?

Now that I have had time to reflect, I believe it was always meant to be. I am my great German grandfather jumping ship, I am my Italian heritage creating the strong roots that allowed my grandfather to be a man at thirteen. I am the water woman my Uncle Sol saw that first day he met me. I am still called by the sea, just like my mother heard before I even touched this Earth. My name is Kaya Rain Waldman, and this life is the story it holds.