I wonder if he likes me? What does he think about me? Am I beautiful enough? These are questions that have crossed my mind countless times. When I hear other girls say the exact same thing, I am quick to fire back with reasons why they are more than enough. I wanted to figure out ways to create that same validation for myself and others. What does it take to be your own dream girl? 

First of all, every single person deserves love. And yes, I know you have heard this before; but self love is the most important form. Someone once told me that you need to love yourself as much as you love others, and that really hit me. We are so critical of ourselves that we can forget the good. Something that is even more bizarre is the things we dislike most about ourselves can be someone else’s favorite thing about us. 

To continue this cycle would be a disservice to all the love I have ever received. I didn’t want to keep living my life doubting myself. That is why I set out on becoming my own dream girl. What does she tell herself, what does she do and how does she feel? Defining that for myself changed the game and made me fall in love with life all over again. I didn’t feel unworthy of love any more, in fact I was able to love greater in friendships, my relationship and all areas of my life. This transformation made me want to share the steps that I took, so here they are. 

How to be your own dream girl:

1. Pump it up

The number one thing that helped me gain confidence and feel exponentially happier was exercising regularly. The key is to get your heart pumping, after all that’s where the love comes from. Some of my favorites are dancing, swimming, surfing and running. They don’t have to be high intensity, but they should be fun. Do something you love and watch for an immediate mood boost. 

2. Hold your crown high

Good posture makes me feel like I can take on the world. When you hunch your back and cave your shoulders in to protect yourself, you are actually hurting yourself. Energetically you are telling your body you are expecting a threat. I like to tell myself “head high, shoulders back.” This tells my body I am strong, I care about it and I am safe. Through your body language you are able to create a confident presence and save your spine.

3. Make a commitment

When was the last time you did something just because you loved it? Not because it’s expected of you or it is the cool thing to do. After all, trends are just trends. Doing what you love is one of the best ways to connect you to your true self. It is even better if you are able to make a weekly commitment to yourself to honor this. You could start a new hobby, go on a walk, volunteer at an animal shelter or cook a nice meal. Whatever it is, I hope it brings you a smile.

4. Let it out

Sometimes you really don’t even know what’s going on in your head until you let it out on paper. This is your sign to start journaling. It is where you can write out exactly who your own dream girl is. Write what she does every day, how she feels, and how she talks to herself. The amount of detail you go into is entirely up to you, but the requirement is that you follow through and start showing up as her. Once it’s on paper you have to do it, right?

These are some things that have helped me on my journey, and I hope they will help you too!